


Just too sweet

by ThymeSprite



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Birthday, Birthday Cake, F/M, Mass Effect 2, Orders, Stress Relief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 17:23:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5834170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThymeSprite/pseuds/ThymeSprite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard is stressed and a bit overwhelmed with the task of taking down the Collectors, but he tries not to let it show.<br/>He did not count on Kelly's ability to see through him, though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just too sweet

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Catnoir](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catnoir/gifts).



This had not been Damian Shepard’s best day. In fact, he was pretty damn sure it ranged at the very top of his list of shitty days. 

He did not like being jerked around, especially not by Cerberus, and being confronted with a next to impossible task did not make it any better. Sure, he had known that this would probably be a suicide mission anyway and had felt bad about their chances from the very beginning, but now his morale was really down in the dumps. Being sold out, then chewed out and then having to discuss strategy with a bunch of lunatics tended to affect morale negatively. 

So he knew he had to put a stop to it, but he was so damn tired. Yet, as nobody else could really break up the stupid argument going on in front of him, Shepard spoke up: “Just because we can follow the Collectors through the Relay doesn’t mean we can take them out.” 

Mordin nodded, but the salarian doctor had always been clever, so no surprise there. 

“I don’t wanna go after them until I know we’re ready.”, Shepard added and looked at the group of mercs and other misfits he had gathered, seeing some of them nod in agreement, other scowl at him, like Jacob, who promptly said, “Sooner or later we need that IFF. I say: Why wait?” 

Jacob was a good man, Shepard really thought so, but frankly, he was also an idiot. And Shepard was in charge of keeping them all alive. It was like herding rabid varren. 

“It’s a derelict Reaper. ”, Miranda hissed at Jacob and for once Shepard was grateful for her interference. She was as clever as she was beautiful, he could not deny that, but Shepard did not trust her. Hell, who did he really trust on this cruiser apart from Garrus? 

“What if the Collectors are waiting for us? We may want to build up our team before we take that kind of risk.”, Miranda then added and Shepard frowned. That was not really what he had been concerned with, but he understood where it was coming from. Unfortunately, it did nothing to advance their debate of strategy, it merely turned it into a lover’s quarrel. He did not know whether Jacob and Miranda had actually ever been together and he did not really want to know, but right now they seemed like a couple of hormonal teenagers arguing over why one of them had looked at an asari too long. 

He had to break that up, now, but he had no idea what to do. So, as always, he just fumbled for words, hoping nobody would notice: “Tough choice - continue to build up the team or go after the Reaper.” 

Wow, Shepard would have mentally patted himself on the back for such ingenious words if he had not needed all his concentration in order not to grimace at his own words. How had he been made their commander again? 

“It’s your call, Commander. Whatever you decide, we’re with you.”, Jacob said and saluted him, God’s sakes, then they all cleared out of the comm room, leaving Shepard there alone, staring at the table. Of course, it was his decision, which was exactly his problem. 

He had no idea what to do. Go after the Collectors, guns blazing and keeping his fingers crossed that the team was strong enough to take them on, possibly saving colonies but sacrificing their own lives in the process? Or should they continue to build the team to booster their chances, possibly risking more colonies to fall victim to the Collectors as the Alliance and the Council were doing jack-squat to keep them safe? 

Shepard just did not know. And it drove him crazy. 

But he had to make some sort of decision, so Shepard allowed himself one more deep breath and then stepped out into the CIC. He would set a new destination, then retreat - no, flee, and he knew it - to his cabin to think it all over. 

Just when the door swooshed open in front of him, he saw Miss Chambers spin around to face him. Her eyes lit up with something akin to joy, at least that was what he thought, and when she smiled brightly at him, he could not help but return a lopsided smile of his own. 

“Commander!”, she called out and ran over to him, meeting him half way between the door and her station. That much enthusiasm was new even from her, so Shepard raised his eyebrows in a silent question, but all Kelly did was smile up at him, her green eye sparkling with...yeah, joy. What was going on? 

“You had me so worried when you were trapped on the Collector ship.”, Kelly sighed, relief obvious in her voice and she put a hand over her heart, as if to calm it, before she continued, a smile still on her lips, “Thank goodness for EDI.” 

“Is that professional concern?”, Shepard dryly asked, his words dripping with sarcasm. Kelly’s smile froze and within an instant Shepard hated himself for what he had said. She was Cerberus, as far as he was concerned, Kelly was absolutely not trustworthy. But she was also kind, maybe a bit naive, and caring. He had to remind himself everyday that he could not trust her and moments like these, when she smiled at him as if he actually meant something other than a soldier that was supposed to save human colonies, these moments made it hard for him not to trust her and simply pour his heart out. 

Then again, she also had a degree in psychology, so she surely knew exactly how to play people. No, thanks, he could do without those tricks. 

But damn, the way she looked at him, pain in her eyes and a bitter smile on her lips, that made it hard for Shepard to mistrust her. Her words, spoken quietly and with so much care, for him, made it even harder to remember not to trust her: “You’re more than just my commander. You’re my friend.” 

That hit a little too close to home. Shepard did not particularly feel like anybody’s friend these days, more like a political tool, discarded and retrieved at will. 

“EDI brought you back to me.”, Kelly continued and then her smile turned happy, playful even before she added, “If she had a body, I’d give her a big hug.” 

As she said that, she giggled and spread her arms. Shepard had no idea what the hell was wrong with him, maybe he was too exhausted to think, maybe he had finally lost his mind after nightmares of being spaced again and the constant stress, but whatever it was, it made him say something incredibly stupid: “I’m standing right here.” 

What the hell was wrong with him? He should not have said that! 

He knew the answer to his question, he was stressed and lonely, but he had not known that he was in such dire straits. 

Kelly giggled, looked up at him with an absolutely beautiful smile and then... hugged him. 

Shepard was so stunned that it actually took him a moment to comprehend that. Then his instincts kicked in and he knew that he should push her away, he could not trust her after all, but deeper instincts shoved his weak protest aside and he pulled Kelly closer, enclosing her in a tight, almost desperate hug. He could not even remember when he had last embraced someone and in this very moment, stressed and lonely as he was, feeling Kelly’s warm body pressed to his, her arms around his waist and her head resting on his chest was pure bliss. 

Without conscious thought, Shepard tightened his hug and somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that it had lasted too long already, but he did not want to let her go. Even if he did not trust her. 

When Kelly slightly tensed to pull away, he reluctantly let her, although he could not suppress an unhappy sigh, but at least he kept it relatively quiet. Kelly looked up at him and when Shepard met her eyes, he saw an inquisitive look in her gaze. He had to quickly come up with some sort of cover, anything really, but all he could think of was a stupid: “Is there anything I should know?” 

Smooth, he sarcastically thought and bit his tongue hard enough to really hurt himself. 

“Nothing right now.”, Kelly shook her head, the movement messing up her hair and she quickly swept the strand of red hair back behind her ear. It was an unconscious movement, utterly adorable... and it made Shepard seriously wonder what the bleeding hell was wrong with him. He had kept his shit together for this long, he could hold out a little longer! 

So with new resolve he stepped up to the galaxy map and had their destination set in a few seconds. There, he could do it. 

“Joker, get us to Illium. And EDI, please tell Miranda to be ready for whatever she’s planned there.” 

“Yes, Commander.”, the AI replied and he heard Joker add, “You got it.” 

He nodded, mostly to reassure himself that building the team and getting rid of some emotional baggage was the right thing to do before taking on the Collectors. He had no idea whether he was right, though. 

Without another word, Shepard then turned around and stepped into the elevator, desperate to reach the relative safety of his cabin. “Relative” because one, the giant window into space unnerved him and two, he was by no means sure that he had found and disabled all the cameras Cerberus had installed there. But at least he would not have to deal with people up there. 

He tried to make good use of the time their journey to Illium would take, but the only productive thing he managed was taking a shower. For all the rest, like writing reports or planning the next missions, he was far too agitated. He was still angry that the Illusive Man had sold them out to the Collectors and whatever the Man himself claimed, Shepard was still convinced that he had put them at risk unnecessarily. So it was no surprise, but still a nuisance when he did not get any actual work done in the two hours he spent in his cabin. 

Grumbling to himself he thought that this day could not get much worse and he was immediately proven wrong when someone knocked at the door to the cabin. So much for the safety of his quarters, he grimaced at the thought, but then managed to calmly call out: “Come in.” 

Shepard stood up from his seat at the desk and faced the door, utterly surprised when Kelly stepped in with a smile: “Hello, Commander. Is this a bad time?” 

“No.”, he shook his head, mentally ticking off possible reasons why she could have come up to see him, but he came up empty, so he asked, “What can I do for you?” 

And why did she keep her hands behind her back? She would not be pulling a gun on him... 

“Nothing.”, she smiled and he frowned at her answer. What? Kelly bit her lip, nervously if he was not mistaken, but still she managed to smile as she explained: “I actually came up here to do something for you, so...” 

What was going on? Kelly gave him another of her beautiful smiles and then showed him what she was holding in her hands. A small package wrapped in blue paper and a cupcake with a holo-candle on it. 

“Happy birthday.”, Kelly giddily said, her smile dazzling, but all Shepard could stutter was, “It’s April already?” 

“Yes.”, she confirmed, her smile gone, “Are you... okay, Commander?” 

“Yeah.”, he quickly nodded, probably too quickly, “Just... a lot to do.” 

“Well, see this as a short break.”, Kelly merrily advised, “Enjoy the cake and your present. I wasn’t sure if you liked chocolate, but then again, who doesn’t?” 

Shepard could not help it, he had to fall in with her laughter, but then he quietly said: “You didn’t have to do that, Kelly.” 

“I know.”, she smirked, “But I wanted to.” 

“Thanks.”, he mumbled, surprised, and gingerly accepted the little gifts from her, her fingers briefly brushing against his and she smiled shyly, then said: “Enjoy the cake, I won’t take up any more of your time.” 

With that she turned away and had almost opened the door when Shepard found his voice again: “Actually...” 

Actually, he had no idea what the hell he was doing, but his mouth had no problem whatsoever with forming words his brain had not authorised. 

Kelly’s eyes were on him, a glint in them and a question, so he thought “Screw it” and just allowed his traitorous tongue free reign for one sentence: “Actually, I thought we could share the cake.” 

“Gladly.”, she nodded, her smile dazzling and when Shepard led the way down to his couch, something in the back of his mind was screaming at him, but he ignored it. Whatever it was, he could deal with it later. He hoped. 

So for the moment he simply led Kelly down to his couch and as soon as they had both sat down, she tapped something into her omni-tool, making the candle disappear. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever had a candle on a birthday cake.”, Shepard mumbled, but honestly, he had never had a birthday cake to begin with. 

“What a shame.”, Kelly chuckled, but then frowned unhappily, “I actually wanted to get you a real candle, but can you imagine? I didn’t find any on shore leave.” 

“They’re hardly produced anymore.”, Shepard mumbled, “Only for fancy restaurants and expensive hotels. Or from whatever materials you can scratch together in Earth’s slums.” 

Dammit all to hell, why had he said that? But he could not take the words back and glanced at Kelly, fully prepared to find disgust or pity in her gaze for the slum rat and gang member he had once been, a long time ago. Instead, he met curiosity and she asked: “Did you make candles to have light back on Earth?” 

“Sometimes.”, he shrugged non-committally and bless her, she dropped the subject. In order not to have her think back to it, Shepard divided the cake into two parts, handing her one with the words: “Thanks for the cake. And yeah, I do like chocolate.” 

“Who doesn’t?”, Kelly repeated her statement with a happy giggle, then nibbled on her half of the cake. It was not much, Shepard had his half eaten in two bites, but it was a birthday cake, the first he had ever been given. And damn, he had not even known that it was his birthday already. 

Kelly folded her legs under her while still nibbling on her piece of cake, utterly relaxed in the Captain’s cabin, whereas Shepard was trying his damnest to stop himself from fidgeting. 

“Open your present.”, Kelly then asked of him, grinning shyly, “I hope you like it.” 

“It’s...”, Shepard began, but then hesitated before he added, “Unexpected.” 

“You don’t even know what’s inside.”, Kelly giggled and he smirked at the blue paper. Sure, he had received gifts before, maybe two or three, but none of them had been wrapped. With a bow, no less. The engineer in him admired the handiwork, while the orphan in him just wanted to rip the paper off. 

He then settled for untying the knot and unwrapping the paper, impressed at how Kelly had wrapped the gift up so that one simple bow had held it all in place. That in itself was a gift he had never expected, but what was inside made him stare at the box in wonder. 

“It’s the Mariner 4 probe.”, Kelly said and he nodded at the model of the old spaceship, “The first successful human Mars mission.” 

“Wow, you really know your spaceships.”, Kelly said and Shepard smiled sheepishly, but when he looked at her, saw that she was truly impressed, so it took him a moment before he found words to reply, “Thank you, Kelly. I really did not expect this.” 

“Glad I could brighten your day a little.”, she said and she could not possibly have known how much he had needed that little ray of light. Or maybe she did, he thought when he looked at her, suspicion rising in him and damn it, he could not withstand that green gaze any longer. She had already seen too much, he had to get her away from him. Now. 

“EDI?”, Kelly then asked, making him glance back at her in surprise, wondering what she was up to. 

“Yes, yeoman Chambers?”, came the artificial reply and Kelly looked up at the ceiling, instinctively turning to where EDI’s voice was coming from, just like Shepard himself did from time to time, “Please deactivate all the surveillance equipment in the Captain’s cabin and transfer the controls to Commander Shepard’s private terminal, to his control. Authorisation: Kelly Chambers, code: 458-beta-lambda-627.” 

“Right away.”, EDI said and Shepard was left to stare at Kelly, wondering what the hell had just happened. 

She smiled cautiously and explained: “You have found and deactivated most of the cameras in the cabin, but there were still sensors and microphones active. Now, they are disabled and under your control. It’s in your hands now if and what gets recorded in this room.” 

That Cerberus had surveillance equipment in the cabin had not shocked him, not even surprised him, but now Shepard was just staring at Kelly in disbelief. But she was unperturbed by this and added: “What we say now, will not leave this cabin.” 

The silence following this statement was meaningful and deafening. There was so much Shepard needed to say, simply get off his chest, and he had already opened his mouth to speak when the ever present safeguard kicked in and he shut up in the presence of a Cerberus operative. 

“Alright.”, Kelly sighed, “I know you don’t trust me and I understand why, so just listen for a moment. Will you do that?” 

He did not answer, could not bring himself to answer and Kelly sighed again, then took a deep breath and apologised: “I am sorry if this is going to hurt.” 

Hurt? Why should it...? 

“You don’t trust me because I am a part of Cerberus.”, Kelly accurately assessed, “It’s the same with Operative Lawson and Jacob, everyone on this ship. You mistrust everyone because they are with Cerberus, so for away-missions you stick to our alien allies or Jack as they are in no way part of Cerberus. You especially try to avoid Miss Lawson and Jacob, even if the current away mission would benefit from their skills. You do that because you do not trust them, you do not want to have to depend on them. So you mostly take Garrus Vakarian with you, because he has been with you the longest, he is a known quantity to you, someone you can count on and predict. He gives you safety you otherwise do not find in your current situation.” 

Dead on. She was dead on with every single word she said. 

And she did not stop there: “But this camaraderie is not enough. You try to keep up appearances in front of the team, because you are their commander, you think that you have to act confident and optimistic about this mission’s chances because you try to keep up morale, thereby sacrificing your own morale, putting your own needs behind theirs. You hide it well, but your condition has gone worse in the last couple of days, your appetite has lessened and you have obviously not slept enough. You are stressed to the breaking point.” 

“Tell me something I don’t know.”, Shepard whispered under his breath and then turned to Kelly, muttering, “Your degree is worth your weight in gold. Or possibly Grunt’s.” 

He had hoped to make her smile, at least chuckle, but no, her face stayed deadly serious as she added: “That is one of your mechanisms to cope: Sarcasm and slightly derisive humour.” 

Now he just swallowed, taken aback that someone had called him out on his BS. He was honestly stumped. But Kelly did not back off, she merely looked at him, waiting. 

“I...”, Shepard tried to form a coherent sentence, but did not know what to say, however, what he had hidden away for weeks just broke free and words spilled from him in an unstoppable flood, “I woke up in a facility I didn’t know, under attack after my last memory had been... dying. And it was a Cerberus facility to top it all off. I had hunted some of their operatives down, have even found a witness who accused Cerberus of being responsible for the thresher maw attack on Akuze. And now I’m supposed to trust them? How? But that I can deal with, even if it isn’t easy not to trust people around you, but the Collectors... Everyone on this ship expects me, ME, to find a way to stop them. And yes, I know I have help, great people, skilled in their various fields, but I am the one they look to for orders, for decisions. And lives ride on those decisions, possibly thousands of lives! How many colonists have already died because I’m not fast enough with my decisions? How many have died because I’ve made wrong decisions? How many died while the Collectors knocked me on my ass today?” 

He was breathing heavily when he stopped his rant and somehow found himself on his feet, a few steps away from the couch and now standing at the foot of the bed. Taking a deep breath he looked at the ceiling, staring right out the window over his bed and he flinched at the sight, not able to suppress a curse: “And this shit. Who the hell thought it was a good idea to put a window into space over my bed after I was spaced?! Is that some kind of joke, a psychological experiment to see if I’ll break?” 

Shepard turned around and was half surprised to see Kelly sitting there on the couch for he had not really spoken to her, had just ranted, the words spilling from him even though he had not really wanted them to. His eyes closed, he took another deep breath, hoping to calm himself but to no avail. 

“Screw it.”, he then muttered, “I’ve already said too much so why not go all the way with it. I have no idea what I’m doing, I’m just hoping it will somehow be good enough in the end. Truth is, I haven’t even come to grips with the fact that I’ve died and been resurrected - I’m technically undead! - and yet Cerberus expects me to run this operation, to make decisions so many lives are riding on. It’s... It’s just too much.” 

When he met Kelly’s gaze again, he was fully prepared to face the empty, professional gaze of any shrink he had seen in the Alliance, but instead he found a warm smile on her lips and when he doubled back in surprise, her smile even widened a bit before she said: “It’s good you got that off your chest. You needed to blow of some steam.” 

“I... guess I did.”, he slowly mumbled, thinking that maybe he should thank her, but not ready to bring himself to actually do it. 

“You know...”, Kelly slowly began, then hesitated a moment as if reassessing a decision of her own and decided to go through with it, “In this cabin, we don’t have to be yeoman and commander. We could just be Kelly and Damian.” 

There was some hidden meaning in her words and even though he thought he knew what she was getting at, Shepard was absolutely not sure. She could not mean that... 

Kelly then stood and walked over to him, standing as close as she had shortly before she had hugged him down in the CIC and stated: “Kelly and Damian are just two friends, two people who are attracted to each other and can act on that attraction.” 

He felt his jaw slacken at the hint and she smiled, licked her lips in a way that bypassed his brain and went directly...elsewhere. 

“I’ll say it plainly.”, Kelly then murmured, “While we’re here in this cabin having sex, you don’t have to decide anything.” 

It took all his self-control to not just nod and beg her. But he should not and he knew it because one, she was with Cerberus and two, she was his subordinate. And somewhere, there was still a shred of gentlemanly dignity in him. 

Yet... she had just shown him kindness and understanding and there were no frat regs in Cerberus... 

Shepard snapped back to reason and shook his head: “I’m...flattered, but... I don’t want to take advantage of you and...” 

“Oh, honey.”, Kelly laughed heartily, “I’m taking advantage of you.” 

With that she gave him a slight push and he was so surprised that she actually got the better of him and he stumbled backwards, the back of his knees hitting the edge of the bed and forcing him to sit down. All he could do was stare up at Kelly whose eyes were now darker and her voice was deeper, rougher...infinitely sexier when she ordered: “Take off your shirt.” 

Shepard hesitated for half a second, mostly out of astonishment, then he all but ripped his shirt over his head and did not even look where it landed. In front of him, Kelly chuckled and teased him: “You’re eager. While you’re at it, take off the rest.” 

Now there was no hesitation and Shepard bent down to untie his boots, but he flinched when he felt a hand atop his scalp, running fingers through his shorn hair and then nestling in the crook of his neck. 

“Just me.”, Kelly murmured above him and he nodded, barely suppressing a delighted shiver as she ran her fingers over his head, his neck and his shoulders, but the goose bumps he could not fight. She surely saw that, but for once he did not care, instead he tried to untie his boots with shaking hands, needing three attempts before he finally succeeded. He then toed the boots off, his socks getting caught somehow, but Shepard did not question his luck. 

When he sat up again, Kelly’s hand went to his shoulder and she gently, but firmly pressed her nails into his skin, causing a shiver he could not suppress this time. 

“I’m waiting.”, she told him and nodded towards his pants. He got the hint, popped the button and with a moment’s hesitation he slightly straightened up to strip off the fatigues. When he looked up at Kelly again, her eyebrows had moved up a bit and he saw her appreciatively lick her lips: “So, soldier, you’re going commando?” 

He was, now sitting on his bed in front of her stark naked, while she was still fully clothed. Shepard knew he was at a disadvantage, but he was already half hard and thereby far too hot and bothered to care. 

“I like it.”, Kelly then nodded with a grin and gave his arousal a long, meaningful glance, then she grabbed the hem of her own shirt and took it off, chucking it towards the couch. Maybe it was pathetic, yet Shepard could not help but stare, she was not the type of woman he usually felt attracted to, her figure slender and almost boyish, her breasts rather small, but in that very moment she was everything he had ever dreamed of. 

Without conscious thought, Shepard reached out to her, wanted to touch her, feel her, but Kelly’s sudden movement stopped him. Bending her knee, she raised her foot to him and told him: “Help me with the boots.” 

Obeying, and liking it, Shepard untied the laces and slipped the boot and sock first from her right foot, then from her left and when she stood before him again, he found himself looking up at her... waiting for orders. 

“Now the pants.”, her order followed and he opened the button, then the zipper, but when Shepard wanted to hook his finger into the waistband, she stepped back and instead pushed her trousers down her legs herself. She was slender, by no means curvaceous, but he wanted to feel every single curve her body had to offer. 

However, when he raised a hand to do just that, Kelly turned around and asked him over her slender shoulders: “Unhook the bra for me.” 

He eagerly did, the movement familiar if not used recently and he wanted to take the simple, black garment off her, but before he managed to, Kelly had taken a step away from him. It was getting frustrating and Shepard huffed involuntarily, a sound that Kelly caught and it made her smile brightly as she faced him again, her arms loosely crossed in front of her breasts, holding the bra in place. 

“I told you that you would not have to decide anything.”, Kelly then told him with a playful grin, “Doesn’t mean you actually get to decide anything, though.” 

Shepard was stumped, but just for a moment, then he had to admit that he was turned on. Judging from Kelly’s bell-like chuckle, she knew exactly what he had been thinking and admittedly, maybe it was not hard to guess, because the effect her words had on him were easy to see. 

“Now, lie back.”, Kelly asked of him and Shepard did not think twice, he crawled backwards on the bed, propped up on his elbows to watch her and once he was settled, Kelly slowly uncrossed her arms, her bra dropping to the floor to be ignored. Her equally simple, black panties followed and as Kelly’s hands moved back up her thighs, she touched her body the way Shepard had wanted to touch her, palms gliding over the curve of her hips, moving to her backside, then over her ribcage to her breasts, cupping them as her thumbs circled her nipples, already perking in the cool air of the cabin. The moan escaping from her had Shepard bite his lip. If she kept doing that, she probably would not even have to touch him to get him off. 

Kelly’s hands made their way further up, ran through her hair and as she shook it, she gave him a smile, warm and bright, but somehow it also had him swallow hard. She chuckled at that and her hands found his ankles, her touch cool against his skin that felt as if it was on fire. Her fingers made their way up over his calves, his knees, sometimes gently stroking, sometimes lightly scratching and as they continued their way up, he felt the bed dip under added weight, the sensations too overwhelming to let him watch Kelly, but he felt her legs next to his, her hands on his thighs now and soon they would...they would... 

But her hands bypassed his already aching length and instead stroked over his hips, then scratched over his stomach, downwards again, and he thought that this time... 

But no. Bucking his hips with need and a bit of frustration, Shepard groaned, wanted her to touch him, needed her to, but all he heard in reply was Kelly’s amused chuckle, then her hands wandered upwards again, her fingernails lightly scratching his nipples. That area had never done much for him, but her hands there were an entirely different thing and he found himself groaning at her touch. 

Then, however, her hands stilled and when he opened his eyes with unbearable effort, he found Kelly astride his hips, so close, so close... But waiting. 

It took him a moment, but then Shepard obeyed with a deep breath and laid down completely, no longer propped up on his elbows, but his head on his pillow and he put his hands flat on the mattress next to his head, palms up in submission. 

The smile this got him washed any lingering insecurity away and he simply gave in, submitted to whatever Kelly had planned because, strangely, he trusted her with this. 

Her hands resumed their path, went to his shoulders and then outward, followed his arms and briefly squeezed his hands, then Kelly’s body followed and Shepard’s palms were soon filled with her knees, his arms effectively pinned down by her lower legs and her warm, damp core was directly in front of his mouth. “Your tongue.”, Kelly told him, slightly out of breath, anticipating, “Here.” 

Saying this, her forefinger pressed down on the sensitive nub between her legs and when he nodded, she removed her hand, making room for him. Shepard did not make her wait and the moment his tongue found her hot, wet skin they both moaned, his hands curling around her knees, hers running through his hair. 

Her scent alone made him light-headed, but when he gently nudged the little nub with his tongue, her breathy moan had him barely stifle a groan. 

“Again.”, Kelly ordered above him and even though it took some effort, Shepard opened his eyes, he wanted to see her, wanted to see the effect he had on her, but when he followed her order, Kelly’s fingers curled on his scalp, lightly scratching his skin, pushing him towards her, deeper. He made good use of this even though he had to strain his neck, but hearing her pant and moan, feeling her roll her hips against his mouth was more than worth the little inconvenience. 

When her hands left his head, it was harder to keep his face buried between her folds, but seeing her cup her own breasts, pinching the nipples made up for that. 

Shepard did his best to not interrupt his caresses even for a second, stifling his groans and only breathing when absolutely necessary, but it was a lot more difficult when he felt Kelly’s right hand on his chest, stroking downward over his abs and... 

He failed when her delicate fingers tightened around his throbbing length and he threw his head back, not in the least concerned with the needy moan her actions had wrung from him. Her left hand was on his scalp again in an instant, her grip like a vice despite her small, delicate hands and Kelly panted: “I did not say you could stop.” 

He just shook his head obediently and resumed his caresses, barely able to do so as her right hand was still on him, pumping him slowly, tantalisingly so. But her left hand pressed his face against her middle, allowing him to deftly press his tongue against her most sensitive spot, then suck it between his lips, sucking at it hard. Kelly tensed up, her nails digging into his scalp and her grip on his member painfully tight for a moment as she shivered above him and her unrestrained moan told him everything he needed to know, yet his tongue remained on her, drawing lazy circles and carrying her through the aftershocks. 

Slowly Kelly came down from her high and as she sat back, straddling his stomach now, she smiled down at him, a smile Shepard returned, even though hers was sated and his was ridiculously proud. 

“Thank you for that.”, Kelly mumbled quietly and leaned down, pressing her lips against his in a brief, yet tender peck that left Shepard wanting more, much more. So he unconsciously reached for her, wanted to hold her close, but Kelly was quicker and took a hold of his hands and held both of his in the grip of one of her small hands. He could have broken free any moment, but when her right hand returned to his length, he did not even think about it. Even less so when Kelly slowly pushed down on him an he was engulfed in heat and wetness. Entwining their fingers, Kelly used his hands for support, then ever so slowly started to move. 

Shepard could not bear this sweetest of tortures any longer and so he bucked his hips up, making both him and Kelly moan. But then she stopped. Her movement slowed down and stopped completely. 

Blinking, he opened his eyes, panting and shivering desperately, only to be met with a playful smirk. 

“Don’t move.”, Kelly gave him an order in a dark, sultry voice that left no room for disobedience, “If you do, I won’t.” 

Shepard did his best to still and once he had, Kelly starting riding him again, her movements too slow for his need, but he did everything in his power to quench even the littlest movement, barely dared to breathe. All he could do was squeeze her hands in his to alleviate at least some of his urge to move. He was in sensory overload, not aware of how the hell the even managed to remember Kelly’s order when he was fully occupied with feeling her ride him, hearing her breathe and... 

“Oh God...”, he choked out when she leaned in and grazed her teeth over the sensitive skin of his neck, the contrast of her slow movements and the short, sharp pain on his neck doing him in. He tensed, jerked and held onto her hands as if they were his sole lifeline. Maybe they were. 

When he slowly, groggily opened his eyes again, breathing heavily, he loosened his too tight grip on her delicate hands, only able to stare up at her, meeting her eyes sparkling with joy and a bit of mischief. 

“Please, call me Kelly.”, she asked and it took him a moment, then he laughed at her joke and she joined him, giggling merrily. When Kelly sat up and rolled to his side, lounging there in utter relaxation, Shepard groaned at the loss of her warm, beautiful body. 

Taking a few more hasty gulps of air, trying to calm his racing heartbeat, he then smiled at her and raised his hand to tenderly cup her cheek in his palm, happy when Kelly covered his hand with her own, keeping it there against her flushed skin. 

“Thank you.”, Shepard murmured, suddenly insecure, so he withdrew his hand again, “I didn’t know... It sounds stupid, but...” 

“You needed this.”, Kelly concluded, smiling at him and he nodded, “Yeah, I did.” 

He had not even paused to consider whether this would be showing a weakness, to hell with it, she knew his weaknesses anyway. 

Kelly leaned down to him, once again pecking his lips, but this time Shepard buried his fingers in her soft red hair and held her there, deepened the kiss just a bit, trying to tell her what he could not put into words. She understood, he realised when she leaned back, still smiling, then she suddenly giggled and as he raised his eyebrows in a silent question, she revealed: “I just thought, whenever one of us wants this, we can’t exactly talk about it in the CIC.” 

“Well, I can’t imagine that “Hey, Kelly, wanna head up to the cabin to have sex?” will go over well with the rest of the crew. They might stare.”, Shepard joked and to his surprise, Kelly shrugged, “Let them. They’re just jealous anyway.” 

She had him speechless at that, but all she did was smirk knowingly, not revealing whatever it was she was thinking, but instead she mused: “You know, we could just use a codeword.” 

“Very stealthy.”, Shepard nodded with a grin that he was sure made him look like a fool, lying in his bed, stark naked and discussing strategy for covert sex operations, but it just made him ridiculously happy. Kelly almost doubled over laughing and ended up half lying on top of him, her left hand drawing idle patterns on his shoulder as she suggested: “How about “cake” for a codeword? It is what brought us into your bed, in a manner of speaking.” 

“Why not just the word “sweet”, huh?”, he countered. “You told me once I was just too sweet and honestly, you must be the sweetest person I ever met.” 

“I can live with that.”, Kelly nodded, giggling again, but then she stood up and just like that, the air in the room had changed. It was not unpleasant, but it was clear that this encounter was now over. 

They dressed in silence and Shepard walked her to the door where Kelly said: “See you soon.” 

“Definitely.”, he replied and she chuckled, but as soon as she had stepped out the door, she informed him, “I will let you know shortly before we reach Illium, Commander.” 

“Thank you.”, he answered, the same words he had used before, but now the two of them were yeoman and commander again, not just Kelly and Damian. 

Walking back into the cabin, Shepard nodded to himself, he was absolutely fine with how things stood between them. And, he thought with a grin as he collected the datapads on his desk, he was relaxed enough now to actually get some work done. 

However, he realised as he saw the now empty wrapper of his very first birthday cake on the coffee table, he would never look at cake or chocolate quite the same as he had before this day.


End file.
